Today I am writing about how much courage it took for me to come into this program, especially at my age, being in my late 50’s. When I first heard about this program being two-years, I couldn’t believe it! I was very reluctant to come into the program, but I had no choice in the matter. I had spent most of my money. I was tired of being in a shelter. My family said that this program would be the best for me to deal with my addiction. Well, I started in 2010 and it is now almost 1 year later! I can hardly believe a year gone by and I am still here!
The journey has been a struggle right from the start. Each day I am here I asked myself over and over again, how did I get here? The answer is simple; I couldn’t deal with the reality of life so I escaped with drugs. Also, I could not accept life on life’s terms. I must admit that I have learned a lot about myself and my behaviors which led me to my addiction.
While I have been in this program, I realize that for many years I have been blaming everyone else, like my doctor, and especially my ex-wife for all my troubles. When really, I have to accept and take ownership that I slowly gave up on life. I guess to sum it all up, there is no one to blame but myself. I realize that I must move forward and stop blaming everyone. I am looking at a new beginning…