How Not To Disappear

March 15, 2010

Curt writes:  My perception of a mistake is that it is neither good nor bad because for me every time a door closes, a window opens.  But for the sake of a lesson I’ll tell of one such “mistake”.

 In 2006, I was supposed to live with my brother all summer in Alberta.  He’s a rock climber, living with several adventurous people.  I showed up, quickly got a job at a grocery store, and was having an okay time.  But I was drinking beer all day, even at work.  My brother didn’t know so he thought I was okay.  I stopped showing up at the grocery store and got a job next door at another grocery store.

 One day I went to my room, which my brother set up nice for me, and found an empty 1 litre of beer.  It meant my brother had found me out.  That night I bought a ticket back to my hometown of Newmarket and I left the next day.  The bus ride was 2 and half days.  I showed up in Newmarket and called my   ex-girlfriend, who called my parents who were thinking I might be dead.

 Even today, I wish I had stayed in Alberta, enjoyed the mountains.  Many times I have planned to go back, but have not.  The lesson I learned from this is that it’s important to take a step back before making a decision to leave a place.  There could be a lot that one can still gain from a place.  Any place.  To disappear, or to exit from a place, without proper insight, foresight and meditations could always lead to regret.