The Road to Persistence

July 3, 2009

Derek writes:
Two years today marks an unbelievable, indescribable, and at the time, unachievable journey. I remember vividly reading what was written in the Caritas Quarterly newsletter about a man whose alias was Rob. As I read, stricken with fear, frustration, and mostly doubt, I tried to understand the type of “long hard journey” he had embarked on those many years ago. Words that he used seem, now, to only scratch the surface of the struggles I endured.

I can only speak for myself when I say that it was through trekking alone that I accepted and transformed that struggle into something I could hold as close to my heart as all the virtues I had only envisioned myself possessing. Before arriving at Caritas, I hadn’t the motivation to try and build a relationship with my father, or even to finish my school year. I was in a very negative mental state and my mood was as unpredictable as the weather in Bermuda.

Coming in, I was the youngest in age and I felt like I couldn’t’ relate to anyone, which wasn’t anything new. Sometimes I think about how far I drifted away from my family and, after everything I took from them, every defeating word I spoke, they are still there waiting for me. The one thing I can say from coming in and out on during my fourth phase visits is that nothing changes out in the real world; but inside of me, nothing is constant…but change.