Beautiful Struggle

March 20, 2009

Evgene writes:
At the age of 17, I started experimenting with marijuana. No traumatic event, pain, or depression lead me into smoking my first joint, but obviously there was something missing within. Without even realizing it, I was running out of ways to fill that void. Drugs seemed to do the trick, or so I thought. Besides, it also helped me to fit in. But little did I know that those same people I was drawn towards and considered to be my friends would later slow my chance to advance in life. But it didn’t seem that way since we’d party and hang out all the time.

Eventually that disguise wore out and the truth beneath it revealed itself, but by then it was too late. I had dropped out of school, stopped eating healthy and working out, started to get involved in illegal activities and in trouble with the law. Put my family and integrity aside, all for the drugs and the scene that came with it. I ended up getting kicked out of the house and since the only dependency I had was the drugs, I couldn’t manage on my own. I was moving from friend to friend, all over the place. Living wild and outlandish, hoping Christ can stand it. I basically gave up control and stopped caring, and watched myself deteriorate.

Just like everybody else, I was oblivious to what drugs are capable of doing to a human being. Life became a struggle, and started to seem pointless and the void became bigger. If it wasn’t for my parents and Caritas, God bless them, I don’t even want to imagine where I’d end up. I had to give up my freedom, to regain a real sense of freedom. I now feel healthy, young, fresh, in the best shape of my life and I only have over a year clean. Things are looking positive and promising. Even though it’s still a struggle, to go through the pain of fixing what’s been destroyed, it has become a beautiful struggle.